A DAY LIKE TODAY

A DAY LIKE TODAY

Today came back from Langkawi Island. A bit tired after handling a program. 

But what make me tired the most, is thinking about this unfinished business. 

On and off this thing had been dragging on. 

I have no where to turn to...neither have anyone I can really tell.

Even if I tell, can they really can understand what I say???

In summary, I had a guy which I thought he would understand me and I thought I can try to understand him. Though its not easy but I am trying.

He doesn't seem understand or see that I am trying too.

I recalled a lot of harsh words he used on me.

But still I believe one day he will change and he will realise that I am truthful to him.

And I am willing to adapt myself to him.

I always thought I can be honest with him. Telling him what I like and what I don't. 

But he felt I am nagging. So i reduced it, not mentioning about his behavior.

But to my surprise, he seems telling me not to get him any birthday present.

I can't helped it but to wonder what is he thinking .

But seems like even I asked him what he wanted to tell me..

He wouldn't want to tell me...

And finally I was put into cold cell again like any other time.

What make me sad is, while he can put me into cold cell, he can happily chatting away with some chicks without even realising I am waiting patiently here for his reply.

I know I shouldn't sharing this online.

 But I need to place I can voice out.

I keep thinking and thinking how 

to make him feel happy and comfortable. 

But am I? 

When I rarely sms him cause worry will nag him and make him stress, he will feel disappoint with us. Maybe I am not the one for him. I not able to make him smile because of my emptiness. I have nothing to offer  him. He used to say it so much that its stuck inside my head.

Saw his msges with other female friends online, the girls can be pampered by him, being kinky and naughty and all..but when I do that, I don't get the same treatment.

Again and again, I asked myself, is it time for me to give up???!!!

Then the other side, came in, maybe its just my feelings..I am being paranoia and all.

But whatever the reasons are, this thing had been troubling my mind, till I have restless nights..

I have got to admit, he doesn't love me that much...

I am just another girl that he came across in his life...

After sometimes, the feelings will get cold,

 he will get bored by me..

And finally he will leave as well...

Maybe I should consider ending this as well???

It's 2011

Hmmm...it already February 2011. In April 2011, need to clear up car insurance and renew my road  tax again. Money is in need!!! This year need to restructure my career path. And choose what I really want in my life.

 Life is not going as smooth that I thought it will be. Though I am reminded to be more patient and take it easy, still I make drastic move, say something out without putting second thoughts into it. Talked to a very close friend of mine. Make me realise that there are a lot of things that I can avoid and not getting into a very big argument. I think I should be like this friend of mine already. Huhu...Valentine's month is still around the corner. Though Malaysia seems to ban this day. But youngster still celebrate it in their own special way.

A warm day...yet cold

Today is warm at Jitra. So warm..that you feel like stripping off the clothes and walking naked. But this is Malaysia. No no naked around for fun. Might ended up in jail later. Why cold? Living in a house with just 2 cats and 2 sugar gliders. Yeah..a only human in the house is me. Anyway..this is the first time I am opening a blog. Hopefully there will be more upload from me and of course will try to make it as interesting as possible. Life is colourful after all..and even grey is a colour too...

This is my sugar glider..

This is another one...

And this another kitten of mine..

The other Orange TabBy Cat..doesn't like on camera..too active. Going to upload it when have the chance. Thats all for today sharing. Hopefully tomorrow would be a great day...